Express yourself

This is where I do...

Monday, September 29, 2008

WAITING LIST MANIA

EVER TRIED TRAVELLING ALONE FOR A DAY AND AN ENTIRE NIGHT ....WITHOUT A SEAT ...AT THE AGE OF 18..... ???? I did something like that on 27th of September. Don't get a feeling that I am going to boast about my guts and keep on praising myself in here. No way ..because when talking of guts ... I hardly had any at that time. On Friday evening I booked a ticket for myself to Delhi from Hyderabad in A.P. Express which mostly everytime is horribly full.... I did it in "TATKAL"... the new service which provides you a confirmed seat.... The man behind the corridor spoke... "Waiting list 70" .... I heard "17" .... and i asked him to book the ticket... when I helped myself out ... I cursed myself and the one who made 70 and 17 pronounce almost similarly.... "THE IDIOT" I had no other options, but, to travel without a seat. Friends advised me to bribe the T.T who comes to check the tickets and ask him to provide me a seat as I am a girl travelling alone and on the top of it...Badly ill. I memorised the whole scenario ... all the lines which I should speak in front of the T.T..... and prayed to God to help.... In the morning at 6:20 I reached the station... train was destined to come at 6:55 .... It came and I entered without knowing what destiny has in store for me.... I looked around here and there ... I found people busy settling themselves on their seats ... few trying to tuck in their luggage under the seats... I found a vacant seat to sit...and decided to sit their until the rush clears off... Soon two boys came and looked at my seat and told each other that their seat is, 'this one and that one'... I realized I was sitting on one of their seats.I immediately stood up and made my way to the next boggie. I prayed ... Prayed earnestly to God... "If I have knowingly or unknowingly helped ...ANYONE ...in this world... help me Lord.." ...That one line I kept on my murmuring inside my heart... I was walking and I found the way jammed ...I can't go ahead because few other unfortunate people too had their seat in waiting list and were trying hard to get themselves hooked on to one or the other seat... I ran my eyes around... I found an old lady on one of the seats... She asked me to sit until the rush clears off....I sat opposite to her... She asked which was my seat..I told her my plight...she asked me to talk to the t.t ... the same advise which my enlightened friends gave already... I could hardly speak, my throat was itching.... due to a sour throat which I was carrying around. I wasn't really well.... and then a policeman came and asked me to stand because incidentally the seat where I was sitting was his... "SHIT" ... I said to myself.. I told him everything and he asked me to go ahead and try as there is a school group on tour... The old lady said .. "Let her sit for a few seconds... let the rush clear off... " I thanked her earnestly... A friend of the policeman came by then .. he wanted to sit and talk to him... He asked his friend whether it's empty above ... he said yes... he aske me to sit on the top berth.. I did the same... placed my luggage above and helped myself in there...When I got in there I cursed the friend of the policeman for saying yes...because the upper berth was occupied by THREE LUGGAGE BAGS...and I hardly had any place to sit... still I sat accepting my situation.. I repeated my prayer again and made a bit of room for myself and sat in there.. After a few minutes the rush cleared off... it wasn't a school group, but, seemed to be a college group ... 6 girls helped themselves to their seats which were around us... I was on the uppermost berth of the R.A.C seat ... After a few more minutes... a boy came and took away the two bags.... Thanks to GOD ... I would have shouted a thank you to him too ... if possible! I made a bit more room... I tried placing my bag more convinently and pulled it to myself and placed the other bag a bit far away...and then another guy came and took the other bag away.... WHOA!! I helped myself nicely then and made the pillow of my luggage bag and slept off... I prayed hard though all the time that no one ask would me to vacate the seat .... By the time t.t. came... another uncle was lying on an upper berth.. He asked him to wake up... looked at his ticket and said these words... "YOU'VE WAITING LIST .....HOW COME YOU ARE LYING HERE...GET OFF FROM THE SEAT ....AND STAND THERE... " Uncle though said .."We'll adjust... you don't worry..." .... but the T.T still murmured ...depicting his disappointment as if he had stolen Queen Elizabeth's PRECIOUS NECKLACE! ..... I said to myself... "Isse kya help mangoo..." ...and kept quiet... the guy looked around ...and found the college group gals.... he moved on ahead.. i was puzzled .. "why didn't he ask me for a ticket at the least.... " ... and then I realised that the guy actually took me as one of the group members... "HIS MISTAKE" ...and I was in no mood to correct him! I slept off... didn't have my lunch .. opened my eyes though every few minutes..and witnessed the happenings around me... My brother called me everytime and asked me to look for a seat now or it would be a problem in the night..I assured him I will do so when the T.T comes... But, I dozed off again... had a few chips and a few sips of slice .... and then dozed off again... I prayed by that time earnestly...that no one would turn up for the seat at night because the guy who is sitting right now would like to have a nice sleep at night and would ask me to vacate then.... It was dark outside the train now and I was feeling cold ..I took a bedsheet and covered myself with it and was going to doze off again when I received a message from one of my friends in the hostel....She informed about one bomb blast that happened in delhi and asked me to take care... I prayed again and slept off.... At night aroun 10 I woke up.... Few were still chirping and others were getting ready to sleep...I prayed hard... I had fear... but I prayed more and more... And then I dozed off again .... I woke up at 1 ... I was surprised ...no one had told me anything ... everyone was fast asleep... there was no one else for the seat in which I was lying..it solely belonged to me..I thanked God... I thanked him like hell.... and slept off again! In the morning too ... no one turned up for his seat...I felt as if God was protecting me..He was somewhere near... too near to me..He could see me and I could feel him..I felt secure... This was my journey.. the magical journey... thousands of people in the waiting list face too many hurdles.... and I was saved ... I travelled without even a slightest of the problems... and then I believed ... YES GOD ... YOU ARE WONDERFUL ...THE MOST POWERFUL ONE... YOU ARE ABOVE ALL.... ......

Sunday, September 14, 2008

MY FRIENDS MY LIFE



I don't know what I am going to write.. but I just know I wanted to write this... It is dedicated to all my friends... my support and my Life. I have hardly any life BEYOND THEM! Must be sounding crazy.. but, that's how it is. I can hardly imagine me ALONE without any OF my FRIENDS.

I have got many friends...some are faceless... because i have never seen them.. or better to say I haven't ever met them.But is it necessary to meet them n then be friends? at times it takes ages to know a person and the other times you can know him/her in just a minute.. surprising? No it's not a mere philosophical line but a truth..a fact that .... is of course quite strange...

If i start naming my friends... then i guess the blog won't be enough to hold on all the names.. I just know that they all are special... special in their own way.. I mean by ALL...ALL!

I really thank God for giving me so many of his angels as my friends... I am really Lucky... fortunate... Thank you all you PEOPLE out there.. for being my friends... ........................

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Chal aa mere sung chal.........


it's 4:30 in the evening and a lot humid out here.......... i accidentally switched on to the song "HUM RAHE YAA NA RAHE KAL..." n while listening to it ...i just thought hard upon the beautiful lyrics of the song. Every word hold some meaning...... it's beautiful... come on guys switch on to the song and read the next part of my blog.......

So.... who knows whether we would really be able to see the tomorrow's sun? Would we still survive? Who knows? The supreme most power i thought... He plans it .....doesn't he???

whatever it is...we survive or not.... or let's say wherever we are tomorrow.... we would always have few things to cherish....few moments of our life..... few best moments which bring smile on our face..... in the song these moments are referred to as "PAL" ... isn't it true.........?? makes sense.... doesn't it?? when u lie down to sleep ...what do u think? just close your eyes n have a nice sleep? No way... unless u r too sleepy u won't .... at least i don't...... u remember moments.... your past days.... time spent with friends... time when u partied hard with friends...time when u bunked your school classes.... i left my classes to play basketball though all my teachers knew that they would find me playing in the court .... fun it was..... life has changed now... but, still i remember it..... that's how it goes with all of us..... we all DO remember them....




It's a pretty small life.... isn't it... too small to gather all the happiness .... u wish u had more of it.... a bit more..... m out of my school days now..... some of u who r reading this might have completed their school life too..... tell me how many friends u r in contact with? 5? 6? out of around 40-50 students .. just 5-6? that's how it goes...we all are running ....aren't we? No time to stop n take out some time to talk to your friends... No time left people.. it's a pretty small life ... i told u... take out your cell phone n call your friend... your friend may need it..... or some of us have some confessions to make... may be about love or anything... why not do it now...forget your ego people..it kills.... u love someone ....speak it out soon.... tell your friend that u care... you do really care... tell your friend that he/she is precious to u...or u may regret it later....who knows we all meet tomorrow or not?

"HUM RAHE YA NA RAHE YAAD AYENGE YE PAL.........................."

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

The selfish world ---- random thoughts

Why is it so selfish.......this world
It punishes us for doing good
YOU ARE BLAMED ALWAYS
No matter how good you were to them
Some don't even care...
But, it hurts... it hurts when people repay you like this....
Repay you for what?
Repay you for doing something good to it!!

Never expect is what they say......
Okie fine I don't expect it to do any good for me......
But, i never expected this too....
But, that's how it is..
you are stuck into it.....
waiting for someone who would free you
But when will everything become fine....

This world mocks at me....
Me for going through all this.....
I do not expect any good from this world
This is a selfish world.... this is so.....
Selfish n ruthless as always.....

FEEL ME AROUND.........

Whenever you are smiling
And blooming with happiness
You might not see me around

Whenever you are with your closer ones
Celebrating and enjoying all through
You might again not find me aroun'

Whenever success comes in your way
And you are progressing day by day
I might not be visible again

But, whenever there are difficult times around
Which makes you sad at times
You might not see me , but, feel me around

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

CHANGING TIMES

Things that used to be
Have all now changed precisely
Better did it use to be
But, now, bitter it is....

Why do things change?

When they shouldn't be
Feelings of anguish creep on
When the old times are remembered upon

How nice it was together
Whatever be the weather
We always had great pleasure
But, now you do not seem to be bothered

Hardly we meet
Seldom we greet

For hours we used to talk
But, now, ticking fast is the clock
You haven't got few minutes to spare
You seem to hardly care

Best friends we used to be
But, now, I can feel you going away from me
Still waiting for you I am
Hoping one day you will come back

Alone, a lot alone do I feel
Hopeless, dejected and without any zeal
Will I be ever healed?
Or should I long to be killed?

Friday, January 25, 2008

THE LAST WALK

A tribute to my grandfather

It was my last walk with him.

Holidaying in Kerala, I was,

in my father's home,
where my grandpa lived almost all alone

It was hardly noon,
My grandpa held out his hand,
'Take me out,' he said
I did so ,but, unwilling I was,
murmuring and muttering to myself

indicating my displeasure

He grabbed my hand,
and set out like a toddling child.
I was his walking stick,
I was his support.

He experienced a new world,
Trapped in the room he was,
starin' out and serachin' for someone
But, hardly did a soul care.


He let my hand go free,

touched the leaves of a tree,
balancing himself he tried to feel.
And soon passed off a breeze.


Irritated I was, and longed to return
As a child I was, but, too heartless I was.

In my selfishness, I wished to snatch away his happiness....
His joy on seeing the new world aroun' him

We returned soon , on my pestering.
After a few days, so, did I returned to my city....
Years passed... , and came the news,
he had met his end,
the search was over,
finally free he was ,

As no more alive he was!

Shameful and sorry still I feel,

when i remember the day,
when i was his walking stick,
I was his support.
Tears roll down my eyes,
when i remember the day,
when i denied him his happiness,
his few minutes of joy,

For so heartless i was.

That was my last walk with
him!